Be Informed About the Myths Around Domestic Violence

✏️ "The myths we inherit become the cycles we repeat."

💥 MYTHS WE’D LIKE TO SLAP WITH A STICKER

MYTH: Kids are too young to notice.
TRUTH: Kids notice everything. Your tone. Your tension. Your tears. What they see, they absorb.

MYTH: It’s not that bad.
TRUTH: If it hurts a child’s spirit, it’s that bad. Period.

MYTH: Violence is a “family matter.”
TRUTH: It’s a global matter.

🌍 The UN says we must end violence against children by 2030. That includes your street, your school, your community.

MYTH: Talking about this is too heavy.
TRUTH: Silence is heavier. We carry it for generations.

A woman speaking at a podium with a microphone.

A police officer talking to a woman and two children outside a building.

Three women smiling, one holding a framed photo and another holding a bouquet of flowers.

Three girls in traditional embroidered dresses at an outdoor event.

Myth No. 1 Domestic Abuse is Only Physical.

Nope. Abuse isn’t just bruises—it’s a slow erosion of safety, freedom, and dignity.

Domestic violence can be verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, spiritual, or financial. It includes threats, manipulation, stalking, humiliation, coercive control, and surveillance. Sometimes there's no shouting, no hitting—just silence used like a weapon.

It can look like:
– Controlling who you see, where you go, what you wear
– Withholding money or monitoring your phone
– Undermining your confidence until you second-guess reality

The harm is real—even when there are no visible scars. And too often, non-physical abuse is dismissed, even though it’s often the foundation of more visible violence.

The World Health Organization recognises psychological violence as a serious form of abuse with long-term mental health consequences.

Bottom line:
If it instills fear, erodes worth, or limits your freedom—it’s violence. And it counts.

💔 The Cycle of Abuse (Aka the Toxic Roundabout)

Tension Builds
Things get prickly. Eggs get walked on. The vibe? Off.

The Explosion
An outburst. Maybe yelling. Maybe silence. Maybe worse. But the damage lands.

The Honeymoon Phase
Suddenly, it’s roses. Apologies. Tears. “I’ll never do it again.” They might even cook.

The Calm (or the Fog)
Everyone tiptoes. The abuser behaves. Victims second-guess themselves. Was it that bad?

Back to Tension...
And around we go again.

Five men in tuxedos holding a woman in a black dress.

A group of people posing cheerfully outside a brick building.

A man scolding a scared young girl sitting on the floor.

Two women posing with three police officers indoors.

Cosplayers dressed as characters from a sci-fi video game.

Myth No. 2 “Myth Busted: Abuse Doesn't Play by Gender Rules.”

TRUTH: Abuse doesn’t care about gender—it cares about power. And anyone can wield it.

While most reported domestic violence cases involve male perpetrators and female victims, this doesn’t mean men are always the aggressors. Abuse occurs in all relationship types—straight, gay, queer, trans, nonbinary. And yes, women can be abusers too.

What’s less reported? Male victims. Why? Because stigma still whispers: “Man up. Don’t be weak. You probably deserved it.” This silence isn’t just damaging—it’s deadly. According to the CDC and other global studies, 1 in 3 men has experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner. Many suffer in silence for years.

One powerful wake-up call? The “My Wife -My Abuser” video by the UK’s ManKind Initiative. Hidden cameras show how the public reacts to a man hitting a woman vs. a woman hitting a man. The difference? Startling. One gets immediate help. The other? Laughed at.

🎥 Watch the trailer

Abuse is about control—not chromosomes. And until we stop treating male victims like punchlines or anomalies, we’re not seeing the full picture.

Myth No. 3 Domestic Abuse is a Crime of the Poor and Uneducated.

TRUTH: Intelligence doesn’t make you immune—abuse makes itself at home in all postcodes.

This myth reeks of classism and denial. It suggests that if you’re smart enough, rich enough, or well-dressed enough, abuse can’t touch you. Tell that to the doctors, lawyers, judges, and Hollywood actors who’ve been arrested for assaulting their partners.

Education and income might change the setting—but not the story. Domestic abuse is about power and control, not poverty or IQ.

In fact, well-off abusers are often better at hiding it. They know how to manipulate systems, charm outsiders, and keep their image squeaky clean. Meanwhile, victims may feel extra shame, fearing they won’t be believed because “you seem to have it all.”

If you think abuse skips the educated, remember: gaslighting works best on people who second-guess themselves.

Three women, two in police uniforms, smiling and holding a jacket.

A woman sitting on a police motorcycle, smiling.

A woman and a girl with sunflowers in the background.

A woman and a police officer smiling and holding hands up together.

Myth No. 4 If the Victim Doesn't Leave, the Situation Must be Tolerable.

Ah yes—because escaping abuse is just like cancelling a gym membership, right?

Let’s be real: Leaving isn’t just hard—it’s dangerous. Most victims don’t stay because it’s fine. They stay because they’re terrified. Of retaliation. Of homelessness. Of losing their kids. Of getting deported. Or—let’s not forget—because the abuser promises this time it’ll be different.

Spoiler: It won’t.

Victims often leave multiple times before it sticks. Why? Because abusers don’t hand out exit passes—they weaponize fear.

So no, staying doesn’t mean they’re OK. It means the risk of leaving could be worse.

Myth No. 5 ❌ Myth No. 5: The Abuser Just Snapped.

Oh sure—just “snapped” like a twig. Or a toddler denied snacks.

Let’s bust this wide open: abuse isn’t a one-off meltdown. It’s a pattern—calculated, controlled, rehearsed. Abusers don’t "snap" at their boss or their barista. No, they save that show for the people behind closed doors.

This isn’t about anger issues. It’s about power and control.

Psychologists have long flagged this: abuse tends to follow a cycle—tension, explosion, apology, repeat. That’s not snapping. That’s strategy.

As lawyer Natalia Otero put it: “Violence for them is not a random act—it’s a way of controlling a situation.”

So let’s retire the excuse that someone “just lost it.” They didn’t. They planned it.